You will yell someday. Every mom does. What teaches your child the most isn't never making mistakes: it's what you do afterward.
Repair in 3 steps
- 1
Come back calm
Wait until YOU are calmer, not until they forget.
- 2
Own what you did
"I yelled. Yelling wasn't OK. I was really tired."
- 3
Keep the limit
"The no still stands. But I'll try to speak more softly." Apologize for the yelling, not for the limit.
Guilt looks back and freezes you. Responsibility looks at next time. Swap "I'm a terrible mother" for "What will I do differently tomorrow?"
At the same moment you're crying in the kitchen, thousands of moms are living the same scene. That says nothing bad about you. It says this is hard.
Sleep, food and asking for help apply to you too. Ask someone to watch your child for 30 minutes a week, just for you.